The thought of your mom usually makes you want to drink, for various reasons, and a curious craving for apple pie soon follows. Or is that just me? How about taking some pure apple juice, some cinnamon, a few other spices, and then throw in some moonshine to the whole shebang? Now we have something worth talking to our therapist about.
Ole Smoky Apple Pie Moonshine has done just this in a 40 proof spirit that will keep away the hot summer blues or warm you up in the middle of winter as you can serve it hot or cold. I'm sure you can drink it straight from the mason jar it comes in in order to complete your hobby of showing up at parties as Gator McKlusky. A 750ml mason jar sells for $24.95 which is a lot less than that swamp boat you've been wanting.
You can buy it online at Ole Smoky Moonshine. Read a review of the stuff over at Drinkhacker.